Social Anxiety and The Blogger

When I was a little girl I used to dream of being something someday. Mind you, my dreams and aspirations have changed along the way but I will never forget the feeling of excitement I got when I thought about my future. Now as a 25 year old, I’m somewhere in between therapist and stylist but nonetheless, I’m sort of set. One thing that comes with the territory of my chosen path is being a social butterfly. The events, being recognized in public, smoozing with very important people, its all part of the process. Glamourous as that might sound, it most certainly comes at a cost. Now, I hardly get really personal on this blog but I felt a nagging need to expose a really vulnerable side of myself. Who knows, this might end up being helpful for someone just passing along or even a chance for me to find some support within this crazy, fast paced, glitz and glamour world.

I have social anxiety. Not something often talked about but its a major part of the way I operate. I never really knew how to explain myself to friends in high school when I’d either get too loud or too quiet in a room full of people. I couldn’t understand why I’d start feeling tight chested and choked up either. But there it was, a word to describe what was happening to me and already I felt clearer about it. A little relieved to know it wasn’t just me either, that many people could and do feel something similar to what I do. I wasn’t crazy, I wasn’t alone and I shouldn’t be ashamed. And thats part of it, feeling too ashamed to even admit that you’re having trouble breathing, trying to keep yourself from shaking or even having trouble getting your thoughts out. Its a painful, scary place to be in. If you’re a sufferer, you don’t need me to go on with a list of symptoms. I’m certain you’ve already experienced your fair share of terribly uncomfortable moments.

It kind of goes without saying that as a blogger or any sort of fashion related job, you’re going to need to be social. This is probably why I spent forever talking myself out of the role. Taking a step into a full room of people can be one of the most paralyzing actions for me and thats hard to admit. Even now I feel incredibly anxious over making this post. “Will I make a fool out of my admitting this? Are people going to just assume I’m being overdramatic? Oh god I should just delete all of this right now and no one will ever know”. Yet here I am, admitting to whoever has the patience to read this, my dirty little secret.  Because here’s the thing about social anxiety. Its crippling and terrifying but somewhere along the way you’ve gotta take charge. I’m trying to take charge by admitted something that could both help me and others to be vocal about.

6 comments

  1. Tony R says:

    Sarah,

    I can relate, anxiety has defined my life for many years and most of my youth I was paralyzed by this monster. I would like to share my story if you don't mind? My blog is at http://tonysreviews.com

    It may help others that are in that very dark and lonely place?

  2. Mrs D. says:

    Really related to this. Infact, I went to a burlesque show last night that I help out at and sell my cakes at and for the first hour or two I was really loud and *on* and I could feel myself doing it and it was so frustrating. Then after a while I mellowed out and was hounded with palpitations and that horrible dry mouth that just won't go away.
    My anxiety normally doesn't manifested in social situations like that because it's one I'm quite comfortable in but anxiety doesn't really give a shit most of the time.
    Do you go to a lot of PR/brand events? How do you cope with it?
    Big love to you lady, well done for taking charge and saying it publicly. I'm pretty open about my mentals and after the initial 'argh, vulnerable' stage it's generally pretty positive. I hope it's the same for you xx

  3. Dee says:

    I should have hugged you twice today! Once because I missed your pretty face, it's always a pleasure to see you and two because it took an immense amount of coaxing to even walk into that crazy room. Worst part for me is getting past hello and trying to have a legitimate conversation as I am freaking out inside. You most definitely aren't alone. ♥

  4. Callie Thorpe says:

    Anxiety is so crippling that it can make the most simple task feel like Everest. I can certainly relate! I think it is amazing that you took the step to talk about this on your blog. I have been following your blog for months and you are gorgeous and seem so lovely. I hope you achieve what you want and overcome your obstacles xx

  5. Ginger says:

    It happens to a lot of us. I have it too, could you tell? I've been working on it for a long time. As others have said, you aren't alone!

    Meeting you yesterday was a real pleasure and you came across very well and comfortable! I understand what it's like being in the public eye. Wait until people start asking for your autograph and then we'll talk about awkward!

    I hope you enjoy your new Esther Williams suit, it looks great on you!

  6. Sam Davis says:

    Very brave of you to come out with this. As an SA sufferer you sure do feel like people will think admitting this is stupid, but actually I reckon most people would be more likely to admire you for having the guts.

    Also, your attitude seems to be good. You know you've got to take charge, and that's a big part of the battle with this problem. I have removed social anxiety from my own life, having suffered from it for years, and having a proactive sort of mindset is definitely what puts us on the recovery pathway.

    Best of luck 🙂

    Sam from http://www.SocialAnxietySolved.com

Leave a Reply